I never knew that everything was falling through.

These past week and a half has been like hell for me. Everything has been falling apart. I don't have that special someone in my life in "that way" anymore and I realllly miss him, prom is falling apart, everything is just reallly messed up for me right now. Half of it is my fault, all my fault. I always find a way to mess things up for myself and hurt the people I care about, because I always THINK I can handle things, and that I can do things that I really cant, and it always backfires on me. I'm trying to be happy but I guess in  the wrong way. Its like when I fix one thing, something else falls apart. Like cause and effect..smh. Prom is going to be crazy because I was supposed to go with a group of my friends but now we are all split up, and theres gonna be sooo much drama at both proms. But the good side to prom is I get to spend time with that special someone, show him that hes still special to me. So I'm excited about that part. I'm just hoping things don't get worse with him, only better. But its gonna be hard for me because now all I can think about is how I betrayed his trust and how I hurt him and myself. I think I finally fixed things with my ex, so thats a good point in my life right now, but still sucks because I still have a bit of feelings for him. My life at home is very tense. I'm still so unhappy in so many ways. I guess I got part of what I wanted. I guess what they say is true, you cant have your cake and eat it too. Guys please keep me in your prayers...I know this post is very sporadic and all over the place, but I had to do it.

This song always gets me. Reminds me that everything will be okay in time and that God will handle it all, the way it supposed to be. No matter how much wrong I do, he'll always love me.